Angels Biography

Autobiographical Essay

Jacques

Name:Angel Pantoja

PREWRITING

My topic is: My topic is about crashing on my cousins dirt bike on Thanks giving and breaking my elbow.

The sights of the event:

The two sights that i saw when I was falling of my bike and hitting the floor the other sight that I saw was pitch black all I saw was the sky then my eyes just shut down.

The sounds of the event:

The sound that i heard was my bike shutting down and hearing my arm cracking.

The smells of the event:

The smells that I smell were smelling the inside of my helmet and my sweat.

The feelings (touching) of the event:

My feelings were scared and painful.

The tastes of the event:

I tasted sand in my mouth and a little bit of blood to. My three body paragraphs are about:

1. My first one is gonna be about the Introductory who was there and where it was.

2. My second one is about what I was doing riding my dirt bike and how I fell and broke my arm.

3.My third one is about what happen after I broke my arm and what they did to me to fix my arm and my big scrape on the side of my stomach.

(Some examples: the days/moments leading up to the event, the actual event, the impact the event had on you as a person, how the event changed your family or friends, how the event changed the community or world, why the event was important to you)

Thesis sentence:

The whole story is about me breaking my elbow it also impacted me because I have never broken a bone before until that day on

INTRODUCTORY PARAGRAPH

Hook: (This pulls the reader into the story. It can be one sentence or a couple of sentences. Use imagery (descriptive words, words that describe the senses) to create a vivid picture of what you are writing about.

Hook(CD):Have you ever broken a bone? This story will teach you to be careful where your driving because the only reason I fell was because I hit a tiny rock when I jumped

off my ramp

(Com)mentary/(Com)mentary: Two sentences commenting the concrete detail (your hook). How did it make you feel? What are your thoughts on it: This accident made me feel that I was never gonna ride dirt bikes again because I was to scared that I was gonna fall again and brake something else. I got back on my feet and told myself that a tiny rock isnt gonna stop me from riding dirt bikes that's what I love.

Thesis sentence: This event was memorable because of the people involved, the actual accident, and how I healed.

Body Paragraph One:

Topic Sentence (What is the paragraph about?)

When I was riding my dirt bike I jumped off a ramp and hit a little rock and then broke my arm.

Concrete Detail #1: (An actual event or fact)

I was getting ready to ride dirt bikes with my cousins. (Com)mentary/(Com)mentary: Two sentences commenting the concrete detail. How did it make you feel? What are your thoughts on it?

I felt glad when I was riding I saw one of my jumps and I wanted to show my cousins that I was good at riding dirt bikes

Concrete Detail #2: (An actual event or fact)

When I was riding my dirt bike it felt just like an ordinary day of riding I never knew that In I was gonna get in a accident

(Com)mentary/(Com)mentary: Two sentences commenting the concrete detail. How did it make you feel? What are your thoughts on it?

When I crashed I blacked out for a second the bike landed on me and almost broke my neck but I was wearing my helmet and then when the bike landed on me I flipped over again and I landed on the bike and stopped. I felt like I was gonna die.

Body Paragraph Two:

Topic Sentence (What is the paragraph about?)

This paragraph is about how I jumped and hit a rock and broke my elbow.

Concrete Detail #1: (An actual event or fact)

When I broke my elbow I did not feel it because it happen so fast that I didn’t feel it.

(Com)mentary/(Com)mentary: Two sentences commenting the concrete detail. How did it make you feel? What are your thoughts on it?

When I found out that I have broken it I thought about all the stuff I couldn’t do like swimming and most off all dirt bike riding.

Concrete Detail #2: (An actual event or fact)

When I was inside off my house they told me to take of my shirt to see if I had any cuts or bruises and sure enough I did I had a big giant scrape on the side off my stomach it covered my whole right side of my stomach.

(Com)mentary/(Com)mentary: Two sentences commenting the concrete detail. How did it make you feel? What are your thoughts on it?

When I saw that big scrape I didn’t even know what to say because I also didn’t feel that also and I thought when I was gonna take showers I thought it was gonna hurt.

Body Paragraph Three:

Topic Sentence (What is the paragraph about?)

When they saw all that stuff they took me straight to the hospital when we got there it was midnight .

Concrete Detail #1: (An actual event or fact)

When they called me They put a cast on me I picked red then they cleaned up my big scrape and I felt a lot better.

(Com)mentary/(Com)mentary: Two sentences commenting the concrete detail. How did it make you feel? What are your thoughts on it?

I felt like I was in heaven Because I didn’t feel no more pain I was happy.

Concrete Detail #2: (An actual event or fact)

When I got home I just thanked my parents for taking me and having money to pay for all the stuff.

(Com)mentary/(Com)mentary: Two sentences commenting the concrete detail. How did it make you feel? What are your thoughts on it?

When I went through all the stuff of breaking my arm and getting a big scrape I thanked God for still keeping me alive.

CONCLUDING PARAGRAPH

Reword your Thesis sentence: This event was memorable because of the people who were involved,the actual accident,and how I healed.

(Com)mentary/(Com)mentary: Two sentences commenting the concrete detail (your thesis). How did it make you feel? What are your thoughts on it?

The people who were involved, they all helped me one of them carried me and the other one took my bike down to my garage. I thanked them for there help.

Concluding Sentence: (Leave the readers absolutely clear on what you wrote about. A last statement about the impact of the event would be effective.)

This will teach you to watch out were your jumping and make sure that there are no rocks in the way. This impacted me because I had never broken a bone and never had a bad accident before so am telling you this “ALWAYS WERE A HELMET WHEN YOUR RIDING SOMEHTING”